Thursday, 22 January 2015

Mood changes while describing her goal.

Such positive changes!

"When someone approaches and asks you for help and guidance as a mentor, it’s not certain they know exactly what they want from you. Help and guidance are abstract words.

Helping your Mentee to describe her goal in detail, helps her to get a clear view on what it is she wants to change in order to achieve her goal. It helps you as a mentor to stick with what the Mentee wants, nothing more, nothing less." 

This is a quote from my e-book about solution focused mentoring. I like to name this goal describing: "the taste of the diner" :-)

How can you help your mentee and turn her (or his) nervousness into excitement?

1. As I wrote before: speak her language, please! So, listen carefully what kind of analogies she uses; what kind of metaphors. When you can relate to that, the nervousness will slide away, I'm sure.

2. Break down the goal in tiny parts. A large goal can make people nervous. How are they ever going to achieve it?? I use the analogy of making a diner: "how do you (mentee) want the diner to taste? Even when you only describe the main course there are various tastes to describe. Your (main) goal has various elements in it. There is no such thing as one thing to do, to achieve.

Even when you want to walk to the next village, you have to do more then walking. Your shoes have to be okay, you have to arrange food and drink, you have to notify some people you'r on the road for a couple of hours etc..

3. And when your mentee is nervous because you are so fantasticly great at your job she almost doesn't dare to answer your questions, well ... you just genuine smile! Be patient and give her time to think :-)  It's so rewarding to be patient and keep your mouth shut as a mentor, really! 

When you, as a mentor, are able to do so, your mentee will become excited.
Because she has heard the tiny goals coming from her own mouth. Those are the goals she could think of and those are probably the ones she can achieve.
Because the goals are so small, they are doable! Perhaps some of them she already accomplished: even more reason to be excited! 

By for now,
Smile and shine: you and your mentee!

Linkedin profile:

e-book free to download at :
Solution Focused Mentoring 5 Steps to get the best out of you and your Mentee.
Ella de Jong

No comments:

Post a Comment