Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Prince EA and my excitement - compliments and nervousness.

From excitement about following my passion to compliments and back again!

"Please continue to "shine your light" and be the thoughtful person you want to be."

I have had quiet a few compliments last week which made me think about my goals. Goals that can be part of a dream ...
A dream, in my eyes, is even bigger than a goal. A dream can be completely 'out of reach' whereas (at least in my case) goals are mountain tops within eyesight...
My dream, because of the compliments, comes 'within reach'. It makes me nervous!

Prince Ea also talks about dreams: 

Like everyone in my family, we didn't get compliments. 
I was spoiled, so I've been told, because I was the youngest of nine. But that didn't mean I was the one who got compliments :-)  
The biggest compliment we could get was that we were already at zero on a scale! 
I can still hear my mothers voice:
" Ahh, it is going to work out with you, some day. You are already at nothing!" 

When you know my love for the Solution Focused Approach, it's use of scaling and my experience with compliments, one would think: how did you two meet??? Well, 'we' did and I've become passionate about connecting arts to it. I created my training "Strengths Building Communication". This was a goal, now I'm thinking about a dream ...

A part of this dream starts here: hoping you like what I write and above all: you'll try out my suggestions and you see your friend, college or child smile because it worked! 

When you like to help others, like I do
When you love to make them smile by make them (re)discover their strengths and resources, like I do
please, let me tell you how you can be of help for them!

Even being on the scale at 0, you can help someone find his strength and resources. It's simple but not easy, you need patience and persistence.  
Try to make him/her look very closely at what they have achieved already. How did they manage that? What thoughts, what actions were there to not fall down on the scale? Please, ask them at least 11 times "What else?"  :-)
Every small detail is important! 
Because after that you are going to ask: 
"What, do you think, can you use and do again to move up on the scale a little bit?"  "Which strengths and resources you just mentioned can you utilise again to move up on the scale a little bit?"

And, I suppose you guessed well: you don't have to say anything after they have answered :-) 
Just a nod, a confirming "okay" or a warm smile will be enough. You have pointed in the right direction, you believe in them and most times that's all they needed! 

The great thing next to this approach is that it doesn't matter what kind of goal (big or small), what kind of dream people have in mind. The scale is always pointing at the direction of .... moving forward! 

I wish you all well. 
Helping others and helping yourself.
Thinking about goals and dreams ...
Warm Smile,

I have thanked the ones who gave me the compliments with this picture. Hope I didn't forget someone.

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