Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label communication. Show all posts

Sunday 21 August 2022

Goodbyes: empowering instead of saddening.

 One of the positive things of job switching is the opportunity to do what ever you love most in the last couple of weeks. Nothing to loose only positive energy to gain.



After decades of teaching I found myself walking around in school full of energy and ideas, making everyone crazy in those last few weeks while children could call me their teacher. The kids in my class had been in primary school for almost a decade and were on their way to switch schools. They would find themselves in junior school in September. For all of us, those last weeks were filled with emotions and fun.

We made our goodbyes and looking back, we could smile and think: “it was okay”

What did we do?

  • We yelled and screamed a lot. There is a lot of tension inside which has to find his way out. The children were chasing after each other a lot while making a lot of noise. I was loudly singing songs and running through the corridors. We couldn’t help ourselves … it was okay :-) 
  • We thanked everyone who had helped us to come this far. The children were used to give presents to their teachers of last year but I suggested to give ‘Thanks’ to all of the teachers in school in a simple and fun way. They liked the idea and arranged it by themselves. I thanked all of my colleagues giving them a leaflet with ideas of “creating your own happiness” together with a smile card.


  • We SMILED a lot because we stayed close to those who we liked the most. We feel empowered because we know we are accepted by them. We still have to learn a lot, we have to change things and at the same time we can stay as we are; completely ourselves. I saw the kids hanging out with the children and teachers they liked most. I felt empowered being surrounded by colleagues who always knew there is a lot of positive and creative energy inside me in spite of everything. 

Such a sensation of leaving in a positive and caring way. For the kids adding to their inner strength, their resources. It will certainly be helpful while adjusting to their new school culture. The same for me; it will be helpful to go back and feel the empowering warmth when my exiting new direction feels a little lonely and uncertain!

I hope all of ‘my kids’ will do well in their next school and in their lives over all. I’ve tried to make them see the importance of caring for themselves and others plus the importance of feeling empowered and working hard to reach your goals. For me it’s time to teach these important issues in a lot of other places!

Saying goodbye in a positive and caring way empowers us to move on into the future.

Smile, Ella


Sunday 12 March 2017

Connectedness in class - part 1

As a substitute in primary school I try to follow my own 'rules' about connecting communication. What a challenge! I can hear what the children are thinking when they first see me: "What are YOU doing here today? We don't know you, so ... we will be very creative in resisting you and your rules!" 
What a lovely surprise it was, that Thursday when there was this 'high five' for me initiated by the most creative one in class. Patrick, the most creative one, even added "Sorry, miss, about what just happened."!  What happened wasn't at all trivial and in the afternoon Patrick still found it extremely difficult to deal with me. Strange, new teachers: you can't trust new people. This was what Patrick seemed to think and he sure made me aware of this conviction of his :-) And yet, when I think about the high five and his words I can only smile while remembering him. 
What made Patrick raise his hand inviting me to connect for a split second?

He wanted to thank me. I was looking for him so I could tell him his computer time was ending but I hadn't seen him hiding in a corner very close to the computer he had been working on. So I was searching for him. After some helpful kids told me his secret, I looked again, now under the desks. While I was searching he jumped out of his hiding place and surprise me with a big smile and eyes franticly checking my face: "How is she going to react?". His action first startled me and then made me laugh (very loud because of the effect). 
I think he was afraid I would tell him to move his body asap to his chair and desk, BUT ... I laughed at him and with a ferm shake of his shoulders I told him he would be a very good special agent one day. We agreed he was allowed to have two more minutes before shutting the laptop.
"Yes!!" + hand raising + "Sorry about what just happened" was his response and I loved it! 
"What just happened" wasn't trivial (far from it!) and his actions in the afternoon weren't nice all afternoon, on the contrary. And yet, I remember our high five moment and I smile. Connectedness ... Patrick showed a genuine happy face these few minutes. For Patrick every short positive moment with strangers is very important. Next year will be a challenging year, secondary school has so many more teachers than primary school ... I hope he will remember our mutual genuine positive minutes as a resource: every tough day can have some fine moments.

Smile, Ella
Trainer - writer - coach - school counsellor - teacher
www.elladejong.com/en